Robin,
I think having a family is a joint decision as well. However, based on what you wrote, it sounds like she's trying for a child while she's unemployed. Maybe she thinks it'll be easier for her to manage while unemployed. When she told you she was going to wait because of her "handful" she was working fulltime and probably thought two would be even harder.
Since her husband seems willing to foot the bill, why not have the second child while unemployed? If he thinks she should go back to work after the baby is born, so long, sucka! Maybe they can afford it. If they can't afford it (I would have to say most people think they can't afford children), then they probably shouldn't do it.
Also, maybe the husband is hoping for a son, which is a selfish reason to have another child. Since you didn't say what side your daughter fell on in this argument but let me say one thing, coming from a daughter: don't give your opinion unless asked - otherwise my answer would also be "I'll do what I want to do."
Taryn
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Response to Nik's Blog #6
Nik
I understand why you would say that men are portrayed as weaker in sitcoms - but I think it's purely for the laugh-factor. Bumbling fools have always been funny to the masses and since the shows are predominantly written by men, I don't think this is because of feminism or meninism. As for the feminist substance - we aren't in the 1970s anymore, Toto. The things that Mary Richards fought for in the Mary Tyle Moore show and her "going to make it after all" aren't things that people today feel women would struggle against. Lou Grant was a misogynist with a heart of gold, played for laughs by Ed Asner. I think the media has found that reality TV is more lucrative than all other TV. So watching The Bachelor brings in more women than, say, King of Queens. So pushing feminist topics on a sitcom is probably not lucrative which is what TV is all about.
Watching Sex and the City, while portraying four strong women in the own ways, did not push the feminist agenda and this show was seen by millions. "All in the Family" pushed the boundaries of racism, feminism, machoism, and other isms I can't think of. In the politically correct world of today, that show would probably not be allowed to air. But like The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Maude and Rhoda, they pushed their agendas - now those agendas are played out and are no longer needed.
It is still almost forbidden on TV for a woman to have an abortion without any thought or discussion - instead, she miscarries before the big day, taking the onus off her shoulders and that of the network. "Maude" did it in the 1970s and it was discussed for a long time.
Finally, I think there are many shows out there that portray strong men and women such as: House, Criminal Minds, 30 Rock, The Office, Samantha Who, Lie to Me, Numbers, Ghost Whisperer - to name a few.
I understand why you would say that men are portrayed as weaker in sitcoms - but I think it's purely for the laugh-factor. Bumbling fools have always been funny to the masses and since the shows are predominantly written by men, I don't think this is because of feminism or meninism. As for the feminist substance - we aren't in the 1970s anymore, Toto. The things that Mary Richards fought for in the Mary Tyle Moore show and her "going to make it after all" aren't things that people today feel women would struggle against. Lou Grant was a misogynist with a heart of gold, played for laughs by Ed Asner. I think the media has found that reality TV is more lucrative than all other TV. So watching The Bachelor brings in more women than, say, King of Queens. So pushing feminist topics on a sitcom is probably not lucrative which is what TV is all about.
Watching Sex and the City, while portraying four strong women in the own ways, did not push the feminist agenda and this show was seen by millions. "All in the Family" pushed the boundaries of racism, feminism, machoism, and other isms I can't think of. In the politically correct world of today, that show would probably not be allowed to air. But like The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Maude and Rhoda, they pushed their agendas - now those agendas are played out and are no longer needed.
It is still almost forbidden on TV for a woman to have an abortion without any thought or discussion - instead, she miscarries before the big day, taking the onus off her shoulders and that of the network. "Maude" did it in the 1970s and it was discussed for a long time.
Finally, I think there are many shows out there that portray strong men and women such as: House, Criminal Minds, 30 Rock, The Office, Samantha Who, Lie to Me, Numbers, Ghost Whisperer - to name a few.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Eureka Blog #6
I was at work today, trying to come up with something to blog about. So I asked my co-workers for some suggestions. We got into this long, convoluted discussion starting with violence in men vs women and ending with men crying.
So I got to thinking on my way home from work: I don't like to see men cry. I find it unmanly and a huge turnoff. The women I work with said even if a family member dies, they don't want to see a man cry. They understand it - they just don't like it.
Also I really don't like watching women sportscasters (except for Suzyn Waldman of the NY Yankees). They just don't sound as sports-intelligent as men. But I don't mind listening to Scott Hamilton talk about figure skating. For some reason, that's okay. I'm not sure whether it's the particular person doing the broadcasting that bothers me, or the gender stereotypes that get to me.
So, does it bother anyone else if a man cries at a sad movie? Does it bother anyone else if there is a woman broadcasting a baseball game? Any other stuff like that bother you?
Let me know.
Taryn
So I got to thinking on my way home from work: I don't like to see men cry. I find it unmanly and a huge turnoff. The women I work with said even if a family member dies, they don't want to see a man cry. They understand it - they just don't like it.
Also I really don't like watching women sportscasters (except for Suzyn Waldman of the NY Yankees). They just don't sound as sports-intelligent as men. But I don't mind listening to Scott Hamilton talk about figure skating. For some reason, that's okay. I'm not sure whether it's the particular person doing the broadcasting that bothers me, or the gender stereotypes that get to me.
So, does it bother anyone else if a man cries at a sad movie? Does it bother anyone else if there is a woman broadcasting a baseball game? Any other stuff like that bother you?
Let me know.
Taryn
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Response to Nicole's Blog #5
Nicole,
I owned my own business too and that situation is so tricky. I would have people come into my bookstore and go to the back of the store and beging reading to their kids in the Children's Section.
I went in the back after this family came in for about the 10th time without buying anything, and their kid had peed on one of the floor pillows and they didn't even have the courtesy to tell me. I certainly know accidents happen and would never have said anything but I thought that was really rude.
Obviously this is a "crazy customer" and most people that know this woman probably know she's crazy. For the few that didn't know, a very rational explanation is required. They did the right thing but I completely empathize with their situation.
Taryn
I owned my own business too and that situation is so tricky. I would have people come into my bookstore and go to the back of the store and beging reading to their kids in the Children's Section.
I went in the back after this family came in for about the 10th time without buying anything, and their kid had peed on one of the floor pillows and they didn't even have the courtesy to tell me. I certainly know accidents happen and would never have said anything but I thought that was really rude.
Obviously this is a "crazy customer" and most people that know this woman probably know she's crazy. For the few that didn't know, a very rational explanation is required. They did the right thing but I completely empathize with their situation.
Taryn
Response to Tiffany's Blog #5
Tiffany,
A couple of questions: do you require an engagement ring to consider yourself engaged?
You can't afford to get married because you're paying for the wedding yourself?
How old are you?
Do you two live together?
First: After 8 years (depending upon how old I was) I would think he was stalling and waiting for someone better.
Second: anyone being that jealous of a voice over a computer game is very, very insecure and I would worry about the future.
Third: did you say anything to about this or did you just get ticked off?
Finally: you're not being stupid - you deserve better.
Taryn
A couple of questions: do you require an engagement ring to consider yourself engaged?
You can't afford to get married because you're paying for the wedding yourself?
How old are you?
Do you two live together?
First: After 8 years (depending upon how old I was) I would think he was stalling and waiting for someone better.
Second: anyone being that jealous of a voice over a computer game is very, very insecure and I would worry about the future.
Third: did you say anything to about this or did you just get ticked off?
Finally: you're not being stupid - you deserve better.
Taryn
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Response to Robin's Blog #5
Robin,
This doesn't surprise me because I think most people do this. We are so inundated with gender-skewing media it would be more of a surprise if the people gave stereotypical girl stuff to the boys and vice versa. And I know I've said this before, there are books that are considered applicable to men and books that only women would want to read. When people would ask me what book they should buy for their father, I would just ask, "what was the last book he read that he liked." That usually solved that.
Taryn
This doesn't surprise me because I think most people do this. We are so inundated with gender-skewing media it would be more of a surprise if the people gave stereotypical girl stuff to the boys and vice versa. And I know I've said this before, there are books that are considered applicable to men and books that only women would want to read. When people would ask me what book they should buy for their father, I would just ask, "what was the last book he read that he liked." That usually solved that.
Taryn
Response to Joan's Blog #5
Joan,
This doesn't surprise me at all. And, sadly, because I still participate in that kind of thing. I used to play golf and when my husband would hit a terrible shot, I would say, "Does your wife play too?." When he would putt and the ball didn't reach the hole, I would say, nice shot, Alice. Somehow it doesn't seem as awful to say that to a man. Also, we would go to our local public course and get matched up with another twosome. If it was two guys, I could practically read their minds: Oh, Gosh, we have to play with a girl? We'll never get out of here. Then I would hit my tee shot and their mouths would drop open and they would look stunned. I mostly outdrove guys I played golf with but it was unexpected. I wasn't insulted - I was just proud of myself.
Taryn
This doesn't surprise me at all. And, sadly, because I still participate in that kind of thing. I used to play golf and when my husband would hit a terrible shot, I would say, "Does your wife play too?." When he would putt and the ball didn't reach the hole, I would say, nice shot, Alice. Somehow it doesn't seem as awful to say that to a man. Also, we would go to our local public course and get matched up with another twosome. If it was two guys, I could practically read their minds: Oh, Gosh, we have to play with a girl? We'll never get out of here. Then I would hit my tee shot and their mouths would drop open and they would look stunned. I mostly outdrove guys I played golf with but it was unexpected. I wasn't insulted - I was just proud of myself.
Taryn
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