Robin,
I think having a family is a joint decision as well. However, based on what you wrote, it sounds like she's trying for a child while she's unemployed. Maybe she thinks it'll be easier for her to manage while unemployed. When she told you she was going to wait because of her "handful" she was working fulltime and probably thought two would be even harder.
Since her husband seems willing to foot the bill, why not have the second child while unemployed? If he thinks she should go back to work after the baby is born, so long, sucka! Maybe they can afford it. If they can't afford it (I would have to say most people think they can't afford children), then they probably shouldn't do it.
Also, maybe the husband is hoping for a son, which is a selfish reason to have another child. Since you didn't say what side your daughter fell on in this argument but let me say one thing, coming from a daughter: don't give your opinion unless asked - otherwise my answer would also be "I'll do what I want to do."
Taryn
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Response to Nik's Blog #6
Nik
I understand why you would say that men are portrayed as weaker in sitcoms - but I think it's purely for the laugh-factor. Bumbling fools have always been funny to the masses and since the shows are predominantly written by men, I don't think this is because of feminism or meninism. As for the feminist substance - we aren't in the 1970s anymore, Toto. The things that Mary Richards fought for in the Mary Tyle Moore show and her "going to make it after all" aren't things that people today feel women would struggle against. Lou Grant was a misogynist with a heart of gold, played for laughs by Ed Asner. I think the media has found that reality TV is more lucrative than all other TV. So watching The Bachelor brings in more women than, say, King of Queens. So pushing feminist topics on a sitcom is probably not lucrative which is what TV is all about.
Watching Sex and the City, while portraying four strong women in the own ways, did not push the feminist agenda and this show was seen by millions. "All in the Family" pushed the boundaries of racism, feminism, machoism, and other isms I can't think of. In the politically correct world of today, that show would probably not be allowed to air. But like The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Maude and Rhoda, they pushed their agendas - now those agendas are played out and are no longer needed.
It is still almost forbidden on TV for a woman to have an abortion without any thought or discussion - instead, she miscarries before the big day, taking the onus off her shoulders and that of the network. "Maude" did it in the 1970s and it was discussed for a long time.
Finally, I think there are many shows out there that portray strong men and women such as: House, Criminal Minds, 30 Rock, The Office, Samantha Who, Lie to Me, Numbers, Ghost Whisperer - to name a few.
I understand why you would say that men are portrayed as weaker in sitcoms - but I think it's purely for the laugh-factor. Bumbling fools have always been funny to the masses and since the shows are predominantly written by men, I don't think this is because of feminism or meninism. As for the feminist substance - we aren't in the 1970s anymore, Toto. The things that Mary Richards fought for in the Mary Tyle Moore show and her "going to make it after all" aren't things that people today feel women would struggle against. Lou Grant was a misogynist with a heart of gold, played for laughs by Ed Asner. I think the media has found that reality TV is more lucrative than all other TV. So watching The Bachelor brings in more women than, say, King of Queens. So pushing feminist topics on a sitcom is probably not lucrative which is what TV is all about.
Watching Sex and the City, while portraying four strong women in the own ways, did not push the feminist agenda and this show was seen by millions. "All in the Family" pushed the boundaries of racism, feminism, machoism, and other isms I can't think of. In the politically correct world of today, that show would probably not be allowed to air. But like The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Maude and Rhoda, they pushed their agendas - now those agendas are played out and are no longer needed.
It is still almost forbidden on TV for a woman to have an abortion without any thought or discussion - instead, she miscarries before the big day, taking the onus off her shoulders and that of the network. "Maude" did it in the 1970s and it was discussed for a long time.
Finally, I think there are many shows out there that portray strong men and women such as: House, Criminal Minds, 30 Rock, The Office, Samantha Who, Lie to Me, Numbers, Ghost Whisperer - to name a few.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Eureka Blog #6
I was at work today, trying to come up with something to blog about. So I asked my co-workers for some suggestions. We got into this long, convoluted discussion starting with violence in men vs women and ending with men crying.
So I got to thinking on my way home from work: I don't like to see men cry. I find it unmanly and a huge turnoff. The women I work with said even if a family member dies, they don't want to see a man cry. They understand it - they just don't like it.
Also I really don't like watching women sportscasters (except for Suzyn Waldman of the NY Yankees). They just don't sound as sports-intelligent as men. But I don't mind listening to Scott Hamilton talk about figure skating. For some reason, that's okay. I'm not sure whether it's the particular person doing the broadcasting that bothers me, or the gender stereotypes that get to me.
So, does it bother anyone else if a man cries at a sad movie? Does it bother anyone else if there is a woman broadcasting a baseball game? Any other stuff like that bother you?
Let me know.
Taryn
So I got to thinking on my way home from work: I don't like to see men cry. I find it unmanly and a huge turnoff. The women I work with said even if a family member dies, they don't want to see a man cry. They understand it - they just don't like it.
Also I really don't like watching women sportscasters (except for Suzyn Waldman of the NY Yankees). They just don't sound as sports-intelligent as men. But I don't mind listening to Scott Hamilton talk about figure skating. For some reason, that's okay. I'm not sure whether it's the particular person doing the broadcasting that bothers me, or the gender stereotypes that get to me.
So, does it bother anyone else if a man cries at a sad movie? Does it bother anyone else if there is a woman broadcasting a baseball game? Any other stuff like that bother you?
Let me know.
Taryn
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Response to Nicole's Blog #5
Nicole,
I owned my own business too and that situation is so tricky. I would have people come into my bookstore and go to the back of the store and beging reading to their kids in the Children's Section.
I went in the back after this family came in for about the 10th time without buying anything, and their kid had peed on one of the floor pillows and they didn't even have the courtesy to tell me. I certainly know accidents happen and would never have said anything but I thought that was really rude.
Obviously this is a "crazy customer" and most people that know this woman probably know she's crazy. For the few that didn't know, a very rational explanation is required. They did the right thing but I completely empathize with their situation.
Taryn
I owned my own business too and that situation is so tricky. I would have people come into my bookstore and go to the back of the store and beging reading to their kids in the Children's Section.
I went in the back after this family came in for about the 10th time without buying anything, and their kid had peed on one of the floor pillows and they didn't even have the courtesy to tell me. I certainly know accidents happen and would never have said anything but I thought that was really rude.
Obviously this is a "crazy customer" and most people that know this woman probably know she's crazy. For the few that didn't know, a very rational explanation is required. They did the right thing but I completely empathize with their situation.
Taryn
Response to Tiffany's Blog #5
Tiffany,
A couple of questions: do you require an engagement ring to consider yourself engaged?
You can't afford to get married because you're paying for the wedding yourself?
How old are you?
Do you two live together?
First: After 8 years (depending upon how old I was) I would think he was stalling and waiting for someone better.
Second: anyone being that jealous of a voice over a computer game is very, very insecure and I would worry about the future.
Third: did you say anything to about this or did you just get ticked off?
Finally: you're not being stupid - you deserve better.
Taryn
A couple of questions: do you require an engagement ring to consider yourself engaged?
You can't afford to get married because you're paying for the wedding yourself?
How old are you?
Do you two live together?
First: After 8 years (depending upon how old I was) I would think he was stalling and waiting for someone better.
Second: anyone being that jealous of a voice over a computer game is very, very insecure and I would worry about the future.
Third: did you say anything to about this or did you just get ticked off?
Finally: you're not being stupid - you deserve better.
Taryn
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Response to Robin's Blog #5
Robin,
This doesn't surprise me because I think most people do this. We are so inundated with gender-skewing media it would be more of a surprise if the people gave stereotypical girl stuff to the boys and vice versa. And I know I've said this before, there are books that are considered applicable to men and books that only women would want to read. When people would ask me what book they should buy for their father, I would just ask, "what was the last book he read that he liked." That usually solved that.
Taryn
This doesn't surprise me because I think most people do this. We are so inundated with gender-skewing media it would be more of a surprise if the people gave stereotypical girl stuff to the boys and vice versa. And I know I've said this before, there are books that are considered applicable to men and books that only women would want to read. When people would ask me what book they should buy for their father, I would just ask, "what was the last book he read that he liked." That usually solved that.
Taryn
Response to Joan's Blog #5
Joan,
This doesn't surprise me at all. And, sadly, because I still participate in that kind of thing. I used to play golf and when my husband would hit a terrible shot, I would say, "Does your wife play too?." When he would putt and the ball didn't reach the hole, I would say, nice shot, Alice. Somehow it doesn't seem as awful to say that to a man. Also, we would go to our local public course and get matched up with another twosome. If it was two guys, I could practically read their minds: Oh, Gosh, we have to play with a girl? We'll never get out of here. Then I would hit my tee shot and their mouths would drop open and they would look stunned. I mostly outdrove guys I played golf with but it was unexpected. I wasn't insulted - I was just proud of myself.
Taryn
This doesn't surprise me at all. And, sadly, because I still participate in that kind of thing. I used to play golf and when my husband would hit a terrible shot, I would say, "Does your wife play too?." When he would putt and the ball didn't reach the hole, I would say, nice shot, Alice. Somehow it doesn't seem as awful to say that to a man. Also, we would go to our local public course and get matched up with another twosome. If it was two guys, I could practically read their minds: Oh, Gosh, we have to play with a girl? We'll never get out of here. Then I would hit my tee shot and their mouths would drop open and they would look stunned. I mostly outdrove guys I played golf with but it was unexpected. I wasn't insulted - I was just proud of myself.
Taryn
Eureka Moment #5
Does a man have any say with regard to a woman pregnant with his child? If she decides this is not the right time for a child and decides to have an abortion, does his opinion count for anything? Is this a men's movement issue? Would courts decide if a woman should be allowed to have an abortion over the wants of the father of the child? I just wonder what everyone else would think about that. Obviously to have this discussion, one would have to be pro-choice or there wouldn't really be a discussion. I guess my question is: do men have any say in reproductive rights? Can a man demand a woman have his child over her choice for an abortion?
Taryn
Taryn
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Response to Robin's Blog #4
Robin,
That is so interesting that guys weren't allowed in the infant area. As if they couldn't molest older children. I know that my husband told me that when his niece was young and she wanted to sleep over his house, he would only allow it if his girlfriend was there. I was surprised but he said he thinks it's odd if a man has a kid sleepover that isn't his own. In today's world, I can see that but I was surprised he felt that way about his niece. He said it didn't matter that they were related, just what other people thought about it.I would think the child care center wouldn't bother hiring men considering they can't do the entire job. That's unfair but they need to choose one: allow guys to do the entire job which includes the infant room or don't hire them at all and then the problem is solved.
And let's face it, even if you're all finger printed, that doesn't mean that no one is a molester - it just means they haven't gotten caught yet.
Taryn
That is so interesting that guys weren't allowed in the infant area. As if they couldn't molest older children. I know that my husband told me that when his niece was young and she wanted to sleep over his house, he would only allow it if his girlfriend was there. I was surprised but he said he thinks it's odd if a man has a kid sleepover that isn't his own. In today's world, I can see that but I was surprised he felt that way about his niece. He said it didn't matter that they were related, just what other people thought about it.I would think the child care center wouldn't bother hiring men considering they can't do the entire job. That's unfair but they need to choose one: allow guys to do the entire job which includes the infant room or don't hire them at all and then the problem is solved.
And let's face it, even if you're all finger printed, that doesn't mean that no one is a molester - it just means they haven't gotten caught yet.
Taryn
Response to Joan's Blog #4
Joan,
I'm right there with you! Somehow people think that if a woman works but tells people that she really wants to get married and raise a family, she's somehow intellectually inferior to the other women who have gotten degrees and are pursuing a career. That's actually what my Wiki page is about - working women vs. stay at home moms.
When I had my bookstore, it was near Rutgers University and many of the professors lived in the town nearby. I don't know how many times I heard (only from women) "I'm only buying this book so that I can zone out," when it came to buying a romance book. S omehow they thought I would judge them for reading "romance" or "trash." I was just happy someone was purchasing something from me and that the person was reading. That was most important to me.
I crochet too. I would do that at work during the slow times and "career women" would say to me, "Oh, I wish I had time to do that sort of hobby." A little condescening? Yeah. I would say with a smile, "You do have time. You just choose to do other things with your time."
I admire stay at home moms. I think there's a stigma to them as unworthy or not as smart but I feel they are less selfish and more invested in their children. Just my opinion.
Taryn
I'm right there with you! Somehow people think that if a woman works but tells people that she really wants to get married and raise a family, she's somehow intellectually inferior to the other women who have gotten degrees and are pursuing a career. That's actually what my Wiki page is about - working women vs. stay at home moms.
When I had my bookstore, it was near Rutgers University and many of the professors lived in the town nearby. I don't know how many times I heard (only from women) "I'm only buying this book so that I can zone out," when it came to buying a romance book. S omehow they thought I would judge them for reading "romance" or "trash." I was just happy someone was purchasing something from me and that the person was reading. That was most important to me.
I crochet too. I would do that at work during the slow times and "career women" would say to me, "Oh, I wish I had time to do that sort of hobby." A little condescening? Yeah. I would say with a smile, "You do have time. You just choose to do other things with your time."
I admire stay at home moms. I think there's a stigma to them as unworthy or not as smart but I feel they are less selfish and more invested in their children. Just my opinion.
Taryn
Response to Tiffany's Blog #4
Tiffany,
Your post was interesting to me because for some reason, I completely understand this guy's references. I don't agree with them, of course, but I can see why he thinks that. First though, you didn't say how old this guy is, nor did you mention if he was "in shape" and what his background is. There are definitely generational differences in the way women and men think. If he's in shape, men find it interesting that a woman can "pack it away." As for the messiness of the sandwich, sometimes men think that women should be "dainty" and eat "dainty foods." Let's face it, girls, when we go on a date, are we really eating an entire pizza (like we can do at home in our sweats watching Grey's Anatomy) - could I sound more sexist? But it's sort of true - if we're interested in someone, we really don't want them to see us "pig out." But if we aren't interested in them "like that," then who cares?
I used to own a bookstore and I remember hearing people categorize books as "guy" books and "women's lit." Guy books were Tom Clancy books, military fiction and women's lit or Chick Lit was Bridget Jones' Diary. And somehow, I understood that. Taryn
Your post was interesting to me because for some reason, I completely understand this guy's references. I don't agree with them, of course, but I can see why he thinks that. First though, you didn't say how old this guy is, nor did you mention if he was "in shape" and what his background is. There are definitely generational differences in the way women and men think. If he's in shape, men find it interesting that a woman can "pack it away." As for the messiness of the sandwich, sometimes men think that women should be "dainty" and eat "dainty foods." Let's face it, girls, when we go on a date, are we really eating an entire pizza (like we can do at home in our sweats watching Grey's Anatomy) - could I sound more sexist? But it's sort of true - if we're interested in someone, we really don't want them to see us "pig out." But if we aren't interested in them "like that," then who cares?
I used to own a bookstore and I remember hearing people categorize books as "guy" books and "women's lit." Guy books were Tom Clancy books, military fiction and women's lit or Chick Lit was Bridget Jones' Diary. And somehow, I understood that. Taryn
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Eureka Moment #4
A new policy was sent to all employees of the corporation for which I work and it spelled out the new Family Medical Leave policy. It used to be that an employee could have up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave per year without losing one's position & seniority in the company. Now apparently the leave is with pay. Is that really fair to a corporation? Why are they financially responsible for their employees while said employees aren't contributing to the corporation's bottom line?
Generally speaking, isn't becoming pregnant a choice? So if a woman chooses to get pregnant and have a child, why does a company have to pay her to be out of work? I understand if an employee or immediate family member of employee is ill and requires assistance. I still don't think the corporation is financially responsible but I think it's generous that they hold the employee's position for them. But starting a family? That's a personal choice foisted upon Corporate America and I really don't think that's fair.
I've outfitted myself with armor so when I ask what you all think about the above, I will be unharmed by the barrage of detractors.
Taryn
Generally speaking, isn't becoming pregnant a choice? So if a woman chooses to get pregnant and have a child, why does a company have to pay her to be out of work? I understand if an employee or immediate family member of employee is ill and requires assistance. I still don't think the corporation is financially responsible but I think it's generous that they hold the employee's position for them. But starting a family? That's a personal choice foisted upon Corporate America and I really don't think that's fair.
I've outfitted myself with armor so when I ask what you all think about the above, I will be unharmed by the barrage of detractors.
Taryn
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Response to Teandra
Seriously, drunk as an excuse? Never. Unless you completely black out, drunk is never an excuse. I know there are teens out there that actually think that without penetration, they aren't having sex. If my lipstick is getting on a guys boxers, we're having sex!
What's more interesting to me is that you were having this conversation with a guy at work. If any guy here at work tried to discuss this subject with me (and I know I'm older and pretty much a prude but really!) I would shut him up. That level of intimate discussion is uncomfortable for me. I don't even want to discuss this with my female co-workers. But since I'm writing, considering cheating can be cheating. Many people feel that if a person is considering cheating, he/she may as well do it because she's/he's obviously not committed to the person she's/he's with. And I mean seriously considering. Passing fancies are just normal.
Taryn
What's more interesting to me is that you were having this conversation with a guy at work. If any guy here at work tried to discuss this subject with me (and I know I'm older and pretty much a prude but really!) I would shut him up. That level of intimate discussion is uncomfortable for me. I don't even want to discuss this with my female co-workers. But since I'm writing, considering cheating can be cheating. Many people feel that if a person is considering cheating, he/she may as well do it because she's/he's obviously not committed to the person she's/he's with. And I mean seriously considering. Passing fancies are just normal.
Taryn
Response to Taran
Taran,
That is a hilarious story! Your aunt seems like a trip! I've learned from my gay friends that unless you are gay, they aren't going to try and "turn" you. Just as you respect your aunt for being gay, she respects you for being straight. I had one lesbian try and "turn" me but she was 19 years old (I was 26) and was completely NOT out yet. I think she just saw me as a confident woman who didn't have a boyfriend at the time and thought she'd give it a shot. I think felt awkward about it after, but I told her to chill out.
Just because a guy is gay, doesn't mean I'm going to change my clothes in front of him. I'm a little reserved so changing my clothes in front of men is not done (unless it's my husband or boyfriend). So I don't think your gay aunt saw what your straight aunt was doing as sexual.
That is a hilarious story! Your aunt seems like a trip! I've learned from my gay friends that unless you are gay, they aren't going to try and "turn" you. Just as you respect your aunt for being gay, she respects you for being straight. I had one lesbian try and "turn" me but she was 19 years old (I was 26) and was completely NOT out yet. I think she just saw me as a confident woman who didn't have a boyfriend at the time and thought she'd give it a shot. I think felt awkward about it after, but I told her to chill out.
Just because a guy is gay, doesn't mean I'm going to change my clothes in front of him. I'm a little reserved so changing my clothes in front of men is not done (unless it's my husband or boyfriend). So I don't think your gay aunt saw what your straight aunt was doing as sexual.
Response to Nik
Nik (or is it Nick?)
I thought that Freud was a cocaine addict but there were a couple/few of his theories that some psychiatrists still follow - I thought the Oedipal/Electra Complex was one that people still believed in - and that was his theory? But you are right - his influence is amazing for a drug addled man. But, you know, he talked a lot about sex and peoples ears prick (no pun intended) up when they hear sex. I don't know that much about him or his theories except the possible one above. I recently saw something somewhere - I can never remember where - that said there are quotes out there (on the internet, in our lexicon) that are attributed to the wrong people and we just keep perpetuating the incorrect information that it becomes what everyone perceives is the correct information. Very scary but true. So although Freud may have been a nutcase or drug addict, or completely on target, we'll probably never know.
Taryn
I thought that Freud was a cocaine addict but there were a couple/few of his theories that some psychiatrists still follow - I thought the Oedipal/Electra Complex was one that people still believed in - and that was his theory? But you are right - his influence is amazing for a drug addled man. But, you know, he talked a lot about sex and peoples ears prick (no pun intended) up when they hear sex. I don't know that much about him or his theories except the possible one above. I recently saw something somewhere - I can never remember where - that said there are quotes out there (on the internet, in our lexicon) that are attributed to the wrong people and we just keep perpetuating the incorrect information that it becomes what everyone perceives is the correct information. Very scary but true. So although Freud may have been a nutcase or drug addict, or completely on target, we'll probably never know.
Taryn
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Eureka Moment #3
To have children or not?
Very early on in my life, I decided that I didn't want to have children. I think even early on I realized that I was selfish with my time and a bit of a loner. I didn't marry until I was 36 which is relatively late in today's world. Twelve years later I realize I should never have married.
My parents believed that living together was wrong. I'm not really sure why they thought that but my brother Brian lived with his now-wife for one year and then they went to their own places for the next eight years and finally married. My parents wouldn't step foot in their apartment while they were living together. So I knew there was no way I would live with someone before marriage. But whenever I would talk about marriage with others, I always stated I didn't want children. I remember one older woman saying that I just needed to meet the "right guy" and then I would want children. My question to her was this: What if you're wrong? What if I meet the "right guy" and feel pressured into having a child and I realize afterwards I really didn't want a child. She, of course, said that would never happen. But I knew.
I had the New Jersey wedding (only 130 people) and a couple of years later my mother and I were talking and I told her I didn't want kids and that my husband agreed with me. She asked me, "Why did you get married then?" Huh? I thought I couldn't live with someone unless I was married? She told me she had changed her attitude on that. Could she have mentioned that before the big day? But she, like everyone else, thought I really wanted to get married. I guess I thought so too.
Thankfully I never felt pressured into having children or if I was being pressured, I never knew it. No one asked me "when are you getting pregnant?" I guess I was very open about it. But my brother and his wife found out they couldn't have children. My sister-in-law and I had a few conversations about it and she told me that she didn't mind talking about it and to tell my mother she could ask about the invitro stuff. However, she did say that many, many people asked her about having children: When are you going to have kids? What are you waiting for? Don't you want kids? I felt so bad for her because I think she really wanted kids.
So what do people think of me, that I don't want to have children? I know someone at work speculated that I was a lesbian because I drive a black pick up truck, have trouble in my marriage, don't want children and have lunch with someone who is bi-sexual. Of course, I laughed when I heard this because this woman is the most miserable, sad and pathetic person I've ever met and really, who cares? But do people, men and/or women, find it odd that I don't want to have kids? And that I've always known it? I think I'm smart about it because I see way too many women have kids when they really don't want them but...well, what do you think?
Taryn
Very early on in my life, I decided that I didn't want to have children. I think even early on I realized that I was selfish with my time and a bit of a loner. I didn't marry until I was 36 which is relatively late in today's world. Twelve years later I realize I should never have married.
My parents believed that living together was wrong. I'm not really sure why they thought that but my brother Brian lived with his now-wife for one year and then they went to their own places for the next eight years and finally married. My parents wouldn't step foot in their apartment while they were living together. So I knew there was no way I would live with someone before marriage. But whenever I would talk about marriage with others, I always stated I didn't want children. I remember one older woman saying that I just needed to meet the "right guy" and then I would want children. My question to her was this: What if you're wrong? What if I meet the "right guy" and feel pressured into having a child and I realize afterwards I really didn't want a child. She, of course, said that would never happen. But I knew.
I had the New Jersey wedding (only 130 people) and a couple of years later my mother and I were talking and I told her I didn't want kids and that my husband agreed with me. She asked me, "Why did you get married then?" Huh? I thought I couldn't live with someone unless I was married? She told me she had changed her attitude on that. Could she have mentioned that before the big day? But she, like everyone else, thought I really wanted to get married. I guess I thought so too.
Thankfully I never felt pressured into having children or if I was being pressured, I never knew it. No one asked me "when are you getting pregnant?" I guess I was very open about it. But my brother and his wife found out they couldn't have children. My sister-in-law and I had a few conversations about it and she told me that she didn't mind talking about it and to tell my mother she could ask about the invitro stuff. However, she did say that many, many people asked her about having children: When are you going to have kids? What are you waiting for? Don't you want kids? I felt so bad for her because I think she really wanted kids.
So what do people think of me, that I don't want to have children? I know someone at work speculated that I was a lesbian because I drive a black pick up truck, have trouble in my marriage, don't want children and have lunch with someone who is bi-sexual. Of course, I laughed when I heard this because this woman is the most miserable, sad and pathetic person I've ever met and really, who cares? But do people, men and/or women, find it odd that I don't want to have kids? And that I've always known it? I think I'm smart about it because I see way too many women have kids when they really don't want them but...well, what do you think?
Taryn
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Response to Maissa's Blog
Taryn M said...
Wow! That was really interesting. I thought the same as you - the wife would pick up all prescriptions and the husband would only pick up his own. Somehow we must both think that women are the care-givers and men are selfish. When I first read that the woman dropped off all prescriptions but only picked up her own, I thought maybe it had to do with insurance - maybe they each separately carry prescription drug insurance. But when you said the husband picks up his wife's, I got confused. I only pick up my own because I don't want to pay for anything that has to do with my husband. If there was no charge, I'd have no problem picking up both.Does this happen with many couples or one in particular?
Taryn
Response to Robin's blog
Taryn M said...
Robin,My parents also have a problem with living together before marriage: they believe there are no statistics showing that living together prevents divorce. Of course I respected their wishes and married my husband without living together first. So, so sorry that I did that. Evenutally will get divorced but can't bring myself to kick him out yet. I think I would have known what I was getting into had I lived with him first. But you never know. Maybe I already knew and chose to ignore it. Having said all that: no one should be judged for living with someone before or after marriage. It's what works for them, right?Taryn
Robin,My parents also have a problem with living together before marriage: they believe there are no statistics showing that living together prevents divorce. Of course I respected their wishes and married my husband without living together first. So, so sorry that I did that. Evenutally will get divorced but can't bring myself to kick him out yet. I think I would have known what I was getting into had I lived with him first. But you never know. Maybe I already knew and chose to ignore it. Having said all that: no one should be judged for living with someone before or after marriage. It's what works for them, right?Taryn
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Respose to Nik B.
Nik-I think, for me, there is a generational answer to that question. I was raised in the 1960s and 1970s by parents who have 1950s morals. While I find the humor of these teen comedies trite and boring, I see the appeal to the younger generation of men. I find it difficult to imagine that girls find this amusing but maybe I'm a bit out of touch. I did watch "American Pie" but this film was not marketed to my demographic. I did find some things in the film funny - but generally speaking, I considered this a "guy flik," like "Hollywood Knights" and even "Animal House."
I'm never offended by these films because I think there is a market for them - I just choose to watch other films.
But seriously, dude, why would you rent "American Pie" when you're girlfriend isn't feeling well. You're supposed to rent a "chick flik" which I'm sure is a taboo saying in this class.
Taryn
I'm never offended by these films because I think there is a market for them - I just choose to watch other films.
But seriously, dude, why would you rent "American Pie" when you're girlfriend isn't feeling well. You're supposed to rent a "chick flik" which I'm sure is a taboo saying in this class.
Taryn
Week #2-Eureka Moment - Taryn Miranda
Friday, May 22, 2009
2nd Posting
So, I've been watching American Idol now for about four years. This year the finale came down to two distinctly different men: Kris Allen, a laid back Arkansas gentleman with a nice voice for acoustic guitar who can change up a song to make it his own; and Adam Lambert, a showman whose vocal range is incredible and his choice of staging, clothes and song choice were perfect week after week. For the entire season, Adam Lambert was touted to win American Idol, hands down. Little by little, Kris Allen crept into the hearts and ears of America and when Ryan Seacrest announced the winner, Idol enthusiasts seemed shocked that Kris Allen bested Adam Lambert. Unfortunately, many people thought that Adam Lambert (crowned "Glambert" by the media for his "guyliner" and flashy clothing) lost out to Kris because America thinks Adam is gay. No one actually knows whether he's gay or straight or bi - but who cares? This was about singing, right? Oh, right, I'm talking about American Idol where the judges think the show is about them. Adam Lambert is a confident young man, who can "sing his face off" to quote Randy Jackson, and who has side-stepped the media's question about his sexuality. Although many people may have seen the picture on the internet of Adam kissing another man and assumed he was gay, he has never spoken publicly about it. I heard him last night say "It really isn't anyone's business, it is?" to a reporter. During the post-finale press junket, Kris was asked, very delicately, whether he thought he won because the votes of the third place finisher, another Christian male, went to Kris. Kris told the reporter that he and Adam had discussed it, that he was sorry that anyone thought that, and both he and Adam were hoping the voting was based on their singing, rather than on anyone's sexuality.Adam Lambert didn't win, although from an overall standpoint, he is probably the most talented contestant the show has seen in its eight years. I really like Kris - he's adorable, humble, gentlemanly (sorely lacking in today's society) but if I had to say who was more talented, I would say Adam - he can do so many different genres and his vocal range is great. The funny thing is, Kris feels the same way: he felt Adam deserved the title as well.I hope America wasn't voting based upon sexuality....does anyone else have an opinion?Taryn
2nd Posting
So, I've been watching American Idol now for about four years. This year the finale came down to two distinctly different men: Kris Allen, a laid back Arkansas gentleman with a nice voice for acoustic guitar who can change up a song to make it his own; and Adam Lambert, a showman whose vocal range is incredible and his choice of staging, clothes and song choice were perfect week after week. For the entire season, Adam Lambert was touted to win American Idol, hands down. Little by little, Kris Allen crept into the hearts and ears of America and when Ryan Seacrest announced the winner, Idol enthusiasts seemed shocked that Kris Allen bested Adam Lambert. Unfortunately, many people thought that Adam Lambert (crowned "Glambert" by the media for his "guyliner" and flashy clothing) lost out to Kris because America thinks Adam is gay. No one actually knows whether he's gay or straight or bi - but who cares? This was about singing, right? Oh, right, I'm talking about American Idol where the judges think the show is about them. Adam Lambert is a confident young man, who can "sing his face off" to quote Randy Jackson, and who has side-stepped the media's question about his sexuality. Although many people may have seen the picture on the internet of Adam kissing another man and assumed he was gay, he has never spoken publicly about it. I heard him last night say "It really isn't anyone's business, it is?" to a reporter. During the post-finale press junket, Kris was asked, very delicately, whether he thought he won because the votes of the third place finisher, another Christian male, went to Kris. Kris told the reporter that he and Adam had discussed it, that he was sorry that anyone thought that, and both he and Adam were hoping the voting was based on their singing, rather than on anyone's sexuality.Adam Lambert didn't win, although from an overall standpoint, he is probably the most talented contestant the show has seen in its eight years. I really like Kris - he's adorable, humble, gentlemanly (sorely lacking in today's society) but if I had to say who was more talented, I would say Adam - he can do so many different genres and his vocal range is great. The funny thing is, Kris feels the same way: he felt Adam deserved the title as well.I hope America wasn't voting based upon sexuality....does anyone else have an opinion?Taryn
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Response to Nik's first post
Taryn M said... Hey, Nik. Taryn here. My major is Liberal Studies so that I could take classes that interested me since I'm only going to school for personal growth (ick - I hate when people use that saying "personal growth"). I work at Merck and just do this for fun!
Response to Professor's Blog
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I don't have children, I'm never around children and since the advent of TiVO, I don't watch commercials anymore and haven't for years. I believe that most people, out of habit or lessons learned from family members, buy pink for girls and blue for boys. Isn't there even a poem about it? I think men are more concerned with whether their sons play with dolls or play dress up and I agree with Nik that this is probably a homophobic reponse.
I also believe that parents never want their kids to be different - they probably feel it's so difficult to navigate everything, that adding what they see as an oddity to their child's make-up would make their life hell. I remember my parents telling me that to date someone of a different race would be difficult for me - they didn't mind, of course - but it would be hard on me having to deal with bigots. I think the majority of parents would be embarrassed if their child chose the toys from the "wrong" pile. I think that is a major issue with toy-choice and children - it's the parents' hang ups that really get in the way.
I'm sure the media or ad agencies play a huge role in marketing of toys to the "appropriate" child. But their job is to sell the most of their product and society sees girls playing with Barbie, not boys - so why bother trying to market to boys - it's not the demographic.
Could we change the demographic of particular toys? I really think it would be a tough sell and companies don't want to waste time or money on that.
Friday, May 22, 2009
2nd Posting
So, I've been watching American Idol now for about four years. This year the finale came down to two distinctly different men: Kris Allen, a laid back Arkansas gentleman with a nice voice for acoustic guitar who can change up a song to make it his own; and Adam Lambert, a showman whose vocal range is incredible and his choice of staging, clothes and song choice were perfect week after week. For the entire season, Adam Lambert was touted to win American Idol, hands down. Little by little, Kris Allen crept into the hearts and ears of America and when Ryan Seacrest announced the winner, Idol enthusiasts seemed shocked that Kris Allen bested Adam Lambert.
Unfortunately, many people thought that Adam Lambert (crowned "Glambert" by the media for his "guyliner" and flashy clothing) lost out to Kris because America thinks Adam is gay. No one actually knows whether he's gay or straight or bi - but who cares? This was about singing, right? Oh, right, I'm talking about American Idol where the judges think the show is about them. Adam Lambert is a confident young man, who can "sing his face off" to quote Randy Jackson, and who has side-stepped the media's question about his sexuality. Although many people may have seen the picture on the internet of Adam kissing another man and assumed he was gay, he has never spoken publicly about it. I heard him last night say "It really isn't anyone's business, it is?" to a reporter.
During the post-finale press junket, Kris was asked, very delicately, whether he thought he won because the votes of the third place finisher, another Christian male, went to Kris. Kris told the reporter that he and Adam had discussed it, that he was sorry that anyone thought that, and both he and Adam were hoping the voting was based on their singing, rather than on anyone's sexuality.
Adam Lambert didn't win, although from an overall standpoint, he is probably the most talented contestant the show has seen in its eight years. I really like Kris - he's adorable, humble, gentlemanly (sorely lacking in today's society) but if I had to say who was more talented, I would say Adam - he can do so many different genres and his vocal range is great. The funny thing is, Kris feels the same way: he felt Adam deserved the title as well.
I hope America wasn't voting based upon sexuality....does anyone else have an opinion?
Taryn
Unfortunately, many people thought that Adam Lambert (crowned "Glambert" by the media for his "guyliner" and flashy clothing) lost out to Kris because America thinks Adam is gay. No one actually knows whether he's gay or straight or bi - but who cares? This was about singing, right? Oh, right, I'm talking about American Idol where the judges think the show is about them. Adam Lambert is a confident young man, who can "sing his face off" to quote Randy Jackson, and who has side-stepped the media's question about his sexuality. Although many people may have seen the picture on the internet of Adam kissing another man and assumed he was gay, he has never spoken publicly about it. I heard him last night say "It really isn't anyone's business, it is?" to a reporter.
During the post-finale press junket, Kris was asked, very delicately, whether he thought he won because the votes of the third place finisher, another Christian male, went to Kris. Kris told the reporter that he and Adam had discussed it, that he was sorry that anyone thought that, and both he and Adam were hoping the voting was based on their singing, rather than on anyone's sexuality.
Adam Lambert didn't win, although from an overall standpoint, he is probably the most talented contestant the show has seen in its eight years. I really like Kris - he's adorable, humble, gentlemanly (sorely lacking in today's society) but if I had to say who was more talented, I would say Adam - he can do so many different genres and his vocal range is great. The funny thing is, Kris feels the same way: he felt Adam deserved the title as well.
I hope America wasn't voting based upon sexuality....does anyone else have an opinion?
Taryn
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
My first blog ever!
Hi everyone!
After reading the introduction and first two chapters, I've already learned so much about gender and communication. I actually thought the communication part was all about how men and women communicate - not so much as how we put names to things which attach stigmas and bad connotations.
I'm looking forward to lively discussions and interesting postings.
Talk to you guys soon!
Taryn M.
After reading the introduction and first two chapters, I've already learned so much about gender and communication. I actually thought the communication part was all about how men and women communicate - not so much as how we put names to things which attach stigmas and bad connotations.
I'm looking forward to lively discussions and interesting postings.
Talk to you guys soon!
Taryn M.
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You know, it's funny. When I opened your blog I saw that picture of these two gorgeous people. And then I read what you wrote about people saying she looked too much like a boy. She is absolutely beautiful and it never occurred to me that she was too masculine for a hetero man. That's absurd. I loved your thoughtful quesions at the end, something I'll definitely think about.
Taryn